ISSUE #87: Here Comes sANTa
January 11
"Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it."
-- Richard Lamm
'Twas the start of the season and where was the snow?
Blame it on Council -- such hot air they blow!
But the snow has arrived and not a minute too soon
(For a while there it looked much like it was June!)
Have you been on the mountain? I'll tell you what
The snow is terrific, just don't fall on your butt!
SkiCo, they're at it with all the man-made stuff
Another dump this weekend and we'll have enough (to open for the holidays, that is).
We're turning a corner, '13 is here
An election in May, change is coming, it's near!
Calling good candidates, please make a run
The nightmare is over; dictatorship done.
Just 5 more months 'til we're rid of Mick
But where he'll go next just might make you sick.
I hate to predict where he's likely to work
(Just think about it - who'd hire that jerk?)
City Manager Barwick - he owes Mick a favor
Recall the contract Barwick continues to savor?
You know there's a payback, Mick still wants to fight
Against Marilyn's lawsuit and for the city's hydro plant right.
Watch Barwick hire him and give him a role
He'll get salary, benefits and stay on the dole.
The thought of him staying makes me want to scream
Hopefully this idea is just a bad dream! (A really really bad one!)
We've had quite a year: some bad and some good
Class warfare, big spending, oh if I could --
I'd send them to school, teach them a thing
About balance sheets, spending, and Mick is not king!
The year in review, a chore to recount
But not when buffoonery continues to mount!
I keep a long list as the year ambles on
To sit down and read it is hardly a yawn....
No lodge at 1A, the boys simply blew it
They asked for too much and builders said screw it.
Housing on-site, the boys don't give a hoot
Profitability? Huh? They're not that astute!
No new condos downtown; not free market, no way
They don't like "cold beds" - or that's what they say.
And third floor additions? Those are likely gone too
(But in all likelihood owners will sue.)
We did well at the polls and won some big issues
No concessions from Mick -- he cries in his tissues.
The "machine" took a hit when the hydro plant lost
But the city may continue, ignoring the cost.
In the meantime the city has a custom turbine to sell
They bought it for the hydro plant when no one could tell
That the project was doomed and would never be built
Some city may buy it, maybe somewhere - like Silt.
Library expansion? It went down in flames.
Despite the loud support from popular names.
But schools get to raise taxes on items we buy
For a change this tax hits the regular guy!
Do you care much about the skateboarding park?
Council's spending more money on this cement lark.
When we built it 12 years ago, it wasn't cheap
Doesn't matter to city hall - those pockets are deep!
A bike-sharing program sounds good to begin
But look at the numbers - the costs are sin!
200K plus from private donations
And 200K more from the feds - yes, our nation!
They need 200K more, are they for real?
At 650K it'd be quite a good deal
To buy bikes at Walmart and leave them around
(At that price 4300 free bikes could be found!)
The Open Space Fund has $4 million to spend
Big additions and projects - where does it end?
The group wants to finish paving the Rio Grande Trail
With a $2mil bridge -- please let the plan fail!
The airport expansion, big news - it's approved
A new terminal, big parking; mountains'll be moved.
But nothing starts soon, it's just a place-holder
For projects later on, when we're all a bit older.
And subsidized housing, it's out of control
Fewer jobs but more building - just what is the goal?
APCHA requested audits to see just who could stay
Only one resident responded; what does that say?
We don't know who lives there or if they comply
Am I the only one who wonders just why?
The promised "housing summit" ended with a sigh
More meetings are needed. Really? (Nice try.)
And now they propose "Caribbean Rotations"
(That's what they call it when retirees take vacations!)
They can rent out their places to those who will work
And leave 6 months of each year - that's quite a perk!
But imagine APCHA with so much more to do -
The scofflaws and rule-breakers, they run the zoo.
It's sad when you see what the program's become
Due to actions of leaders; not smart, more like dumb.
Burlingame raises its big ugly head
More units on tap for the project we dread.
Millions more in construction - you know how THAT goes
The costs, don't believe them, think: Pinocchio's nose!
Sales projections aren't great, the numbers are low
Seems those with more money have elsewhere to go!
So the subsidies go up, you and I kick in more
At least this mess isn't downtown in the core!
More money for the Wheeler despite its account
(From transfer tax money: 30 mil at last count)
Hitting up the city for 3 million more
A new balcony's needed - up on the 3rd floor!
Despite all the nonsense, we all carry on
It's Aspen, my friends (we don't like being gone).
We deal with the BS, we grin and we bear it
This place is a winner! Heck yeah, it's got merit!
Many great things cheer us up through the year
Just a few new ones - I'm delighted to list here:
Popcorn's back at the Wagon, the Creperie (and cold beer)
Try the new Thai place! It's delicious, and near!
And this week brings the best news of all
The Jerome, she reopens, from a remodel (not small).
Our crown jewel is back, in all of her glory
The staff there can't wait to tell you her story!
Please stay in touch, let me know what you think
Say hello on the street, or give me a wink.
The Red Ant's on the case, the fun never ends
Holiday blessings to you, your family and friends.