ISSUE #73: sANTa's Back: 2011
February 20 "Ring out the old, ring in the new
Ring happy bells, across the snow.
The year is going, let him go
Ring out the false, ring in the true."
--- Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1850
'Twas winter in Aspen, it comes every year.
A long runway, more airlines and lots more to cheer!
We made it through '11 with some wins and some losses
But nothing's so bad as our corrupt city bosses.
To shine a bright light and cry-out upon news
The Red Ant is eager to email my views
I name names and wonder, what are they thinking?
The ethics, the corruption -- this boat is sinking!
The politics, they're nasty -- really, what's new?
Mick's leadership's lacking: so predicted, so true.
The boys they just sit there, scared to say boo
So the mayor steamrolls his agenda through.
We voted for Adam and got Skadron back
Independent thinkers -- still something we lack.
Torre's emotional, but he gets things done
But Derek, oh my, he is just dumb.
They don't do the reading; just sit there like fools
Their eyes? Glazed over like cold swimming pools.
Mick rants and he raves, and he yells at the folks
Council reacts like he's just telling jokes.
They ignore the public (who cares what we think?)
Steve Barwick and staff - they're tickled pink!
Council just looks to them for direction
All I can think of is the next election!
Grocery bags in plastic, they have been banned
The legislation was sloppy; the decision panned.
Now bring your own bag, or be prepared to pay
Paper bags will cost 20 cents every day.
The hydro plant faces its federal review
(An environmental study's the right thing to do.)
This slows things down, likely for years
Plus a lawsuit was filed, and the city has fears.
A decision in '58 to turn out the lights
Means the city abandoned its hydro plant rights.
The old plant was closed, pipes were ripped out
To rebuild the thing now is clearly in doubt!
We should stop now and just call it a loss
But the tab keeps on growing with Mick as the boss.
$10.5 million - today's estimated cost
It may never get built, and millions more will be lost.
Economic analyses - these were compiled
For taxpayers - wow, how we've been beguiled!
The experts, they say the project's a mess
But staff at the city will never confess.
They once again built -- with money from bonds
And when this was all gone, they just waved their wands.
Electrical rates -- these increased for us all
The costs keep on rising, the fall-out? Not small!
The "Sick of Mick" effort, while it didn't succeed
Showed disdain for the mayor, but nothing he'll heed.
Mick won his third term, thankfully his last
Let's hope that May '13 comes around fast!
Drug cartels reached our nice little town
Made clear when a major cocaine bust went down.
Several old locals were caught and were busted
The DEA made it happen; our Sheriff -- not trusted.
Occupy Aspen -- they came and they roared.
(Just 20 showed up and many looked bored.)
Of all who were there, I soon realized
Most live in housing -- yep, subsidized!
Marks won her appeal against the city
Their reaction was predictable: vengeful, not pretty.
They're hiding something from the '09 election
Courts say show ballots; city ignores the direction.
Now they appeal to the state's Supreme Court
Costing hundreds of thousands on unneeded tort.
So ironic to note that if the city should "win"
Honest elections will be over; not seen again.
It's likely they'll lose, they have a weak case
Mick vs Marilyn: looks personal on its face.
But the facts are important, no matter your side
It's abundantly clear the city's got something to hide.
Burlingame raises its big ugly head
The next phase is coming, or so it is said.
Never mind there aren't jobs nor demand for the places
The city's happy to build for imaginary faces.
They've been running an ad, begging for takers
Just sign on the list - who cares if they're fakers!?
The city just wants to break ground and dig
It's all about votes, folks, and Burlingame's BIG!
They're sneaking around, contracting to build
We don't even know if their coffers are filled.
Once again they have plans that ignore stuff like money
Want subsidized housing? Just sign up, honey!
Mick took a vacation (nothing wrong with that)
But charged us for expenses, that dirty rat!
City manager Barwick just cracked him a check
It's taxpayers' money - so what the heck!?
The bike racers came from over the Pass
In terms of spectators, we prepared for a mass.
But most were just locals, up on the hill
Restaurants went empty; no bellies to fill.
The city spent thousands, and took a big loss
What did you expect? Mick was the boss.
We're indulging Mick's fantasy (for tourism?) again
(The Red Ant personally thinks it's a sin.)
Little Annie's: a dive where we all like to eat
The menu's affordable, the façade western and sweet.
The building's in jeopardy, could be torn down
Can't we move Annie's elsewhere in town?
Below the earth's surface geo-thermal temps are hot
But drilling to harness these, a good idea? Not.
It's part of the "green" thing that pleases the city
The neighbors find the experiment noisy and gritty.
Weeks past the deadline, no water's been found
Maybe there's nothing in our under-ground!
No hot water, cold water, nothing's been hit
But the city keeps drilling; these guys just won't quit!
And then there's the Wheeler, our opera house prize
With a taxpayer subsidy - horrors, the size!
$3 mil a year for movies and shows
Nothing there makes money; that really blows.
Finally an approval for a lodge at 1A
Too bad in the process the Poma went away.
The city fought hard against new free market places
But settled when they got on-site worker housing spaces.
The Given, it's gone and the furor is done
CU sold the land and the impact was none.
Now on the site will be one private dwelling
The trees, they're all standing. The next fight? No telling.
Digging into our pockets whenever they can
The County concocted a spectacular plan:
Special non-profits now don't need to raise money
They've just upped our taxes! Don't laugh, it's not funny.
The city says rentals of your home or mine
Need to pay taxes or be guilty of crime.
They want a cut of our personal deals
Likely to spend it on staff parties and meals!
'12 is upon us and we'll be spending a lot
The city budget has 70 mil in its pot.
Capital expenditures increased the most
Fiscal responsibility? Nah! That thinking's toast.
The AACP threatens early next year
But the only answer we really need to hear:
Will it be regulatory or just serve as a guide?
If not the latter, the community's hands will be tied.
Planning & Zoning, they've been at it for years
Their draconian plans have justified fears.
Each draft in the process has met with jeers
They all prefer a return to The Quiet Years!
The Thrift Shop ladies (all volunteer)
Weeding through old stuff, garbage and gear
Made a silk purse from a sow's ear
And donated half a mil to the community this year!
Tony is back at the Hotel Jerome
The gem is again a great local home.
The J-Bar, The Library, The Antler Bar
The corner of Main & Mill: our historic star!
SkiCo stepped up and made some big changes
New lifts, new restaurants on our mountain ranges!
Better is best, and here skiing is GREAT --
The Crowns and the SkiCo -- what I call "first rate!"
Ever onward and upward in our cul-de-sac nest
We all love it in Aspen - it's simply the best!
The Red Ant's on the case; the fun never ends
Holiday blessings to you, your family and friends.