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WHAT IS A "LOCAL?"
Long the source of small town pride, being an Aspen "local" has always had its privileges. Local's Specials, Local's Passes, Local's Discounts, Local's Night. But just how is "local" status attained? By living here? In Aspen? What about down valley? For how long? Full-time or part-time? By working here? By owning property? A combination thereof? Which combination? Having ZG license plates? A 925 prefix phone number? Who decides? And is there a list?
THE RED ANT HITS THE LOCAL STREETS
Ever in search of the truth, The Red Ant spoke to people on the streets for clarity on the "local" issue. Here's what we learned when we asked, What is a "local?"
- My aunt and uncle are locals. They have a house here and live here every summer. -- Jennie, Cleveland
- Locals are people who live here and work here. -- Nigel, Laguna Beach
- Real Aspen folks (presumably "locals") love to party. -- "Lax," Aspen Times blogger
- If you're a member of The Elks, you're a local. -- Elks Lodge member A
- Correction, if you're a member of The Elks who didn't join when membership was down and all the f-heads from Red Mountain with Rolexes joined for steak night in the summer, you're a local. -- Elks Lodge memberB
- The "local" issue is tied to "haves and have-nots." The "have-nots" will never consider the "haves" to be locals, regardless of how long the "haves" have lived here and despite the "haves" paying for everything for the "have-nots," including their housing, their income and their recreation. -- Long-time local attorney (name withheld)
- I was born in this valley, but I'm only 23, am I a local or do I have to go through some sort of fraternal hazing to be welcomed? -- "BigChris," Aspen Times blogger
- I'm a local. I live here, I vote here, I volunteer here, I have a Colorado driver's license, my stuff is here. But since I just recently moved here full-time and own property elsewhere (where I don't live anymore), I'm sure that in some people's eyes, I haven't earned "local" status yet. I should have the same say as the next guy, but since I'm not a "longtime local," some might argue about that. -- Barbara, Aspen
- Aspen Times columnist Su Lum's weekly byline: Su Lum is a longtime local who ....
* Locals can walk through town and tell you what businesses were in every retail location, in reverse order. Ralph Lauren - Banana Republic - Crossroads Drugs. Prada - Planet Hollywood - Andre's. -- Maureen, Aspen
- * Locals live here. We should have a gondola line for locals. -- Clueless local who probably deserves to be identified, but we'll give her a pass THIS ONE TIME.
- I'm a local. I've lived and worked here for 11 years. Besides, I'm married to a life-long local and I've got in-laws here! That definitely has to count for something! -- Jennifer, Aspen
- Real locals have been here 35 or more years or were born and raised here. The rest are totally missing the point and are newbies or they would not care so much in their valiant attempts to be important here. -- "Animal Safety," Aspen Times blogger
- I've owned a home here for 25 years and pay increasingly expensive property taxes. Even though I don't live here part of the time, I'm definitely a "local." -- Bill, NYC
- I've lived here off and on since 1987, and have kept my ZG plates and 925 prefix number all along. I partied at The Tippler, Andre's and The Slope. My favorite dish at LaCo was "half a Number 2." I voted to recall Stirling, Crockett, Gassman and Peters. I'm definitely a local! -- Elizabeth, Aspen
ACTUAL LOCALS???
There has always been great debate over what constitutes a "local," and our elected leadership has recently entered the fray. At the recent City Council planning retreat, Councilman Torre made reference to "actual locals," but he did not elaborate on the  emphatic distinction between these locals and others.Former Councilman Jack Johnson, a 9-year Aspen resident, also used this "actual locals" distinction in meetings, but once again, the subtle (or not-so-subtle) nuances that would clarify the seemingly more privileged "actual " status were not revealed.
IS LANCE A LOCAL?
In his recent attempt to celebrate part-time resident Lance Armstrong by proclaiming a "Lance Armstrong Day," Mayor Mick was shot downwhen Councilman Steve Skadronreminded him thatthere are plenty of other "local endeavors" and other "local athletes" deserving of recognition, and besides, "He (Lance) hasn't been here 5 minutes!" So, Skad, how much longer until Lance becomes a "local?"
Bowing to public and Council pressure to move beyond "Lance Day," Mayor Mick was perplexed that Armstrong was deemed "not local enough" despite "walking and talking like a local," causing Mick to channel Forrest Gump and shock us with, "Local is as local does." (Click here for entire article)
The Red Ant wonders what "talking like a local" sounds like. Is it an accent? And where did Lance learn to talk like a "local?" Isn't he from Texas? How is it that Lance walks? Isn't he usually on a bicycle? How DO "locals" walk?
When interviewed by the Aspen Daily News about the "Lance Day" brou-ha-ha, Lance gave some insight into his own "local" status. "I like to be the dude who lives in the West End that nobody knows about," he said. (Notably, this "low-key local," and hero of Mick, lives in the very same affluent neighborhood that the Mayor vilifies - regularly referring to it as "the West End, with all the darkness that implies.")
"Local is as local does," the Mayor says. Interesting. Walking, talking and "doing" like a "local" makes a "local"? According to Mick, anyone can be a "local."
CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR LOCALSHIP? CAN YOU BE UNLOCALIZED?
Apparently yes, one's "local" status is definitely fluid. There are "part-time locals" and "long-time locals," and now in official City Hall discussions, "actual locals," all of whose "local-ness" seems to be affected by the length of time they spend / have spent in Aspen. But again, those specific thresholds remain a mystery. Surely, tenure is a plus toward "local-dom," but just how will you know when you've arrived?
Sadly, one's "local-ness" also appears to be revocable. Some in Aspen are quick to turn on their own, such as when Mick disparaged visitors and residents alike when referring to Aspen's high-end clientele as "Madoff victims" who enjoy "$85 appetizers." (Click here for entire article) Which then begs the question as to whether they were "locals" before or have now become "locals" since sadly being robbed of their assets.
There are also "life-long" locals who were born and raised here whose "local" status cannot be challenged. That is, unless they leave. (Obviously, if one moves away, one is no longer a "local," but presumably retains "former local" status.) 
ARE OUR ELECTED LEADERS LOCALS? ACTUAL LOCALS? WHERE DO YOU STACK UP?
Mayor Mick: Grew up in Chicago, and has lived in Aspen since 1979. Mick owns his affordable housing unit, has been a "local politician" for 15 years, does not have ZG plates nor a 925 phone number.
Dwayne Romero: With his wife, Dwayne has lived in the Roaring Fork Valley for 10 years. They were residents of Carbondale and Snowmass Village before moving to Aspen, where they own their home and are raising 3 daughters. Originally from Texas, he is a real estate developer whose car does not have ZG plates, nor does he have a 925 phone number. Dwayne does not remember partying at The Tippler (and he's sticking to that story).
Steve Skadron: Originally from Minnesota, Skadron has lived in Aspen for 12 years. He owns both his condominium and his own marketing firm. Steve does not have a 925 phone number nor ZG plates on his bicycle. But he is the advocate of mandating the "locally-serving restaurant" with government-controlled pricing in the Cooper Street Pier's future basement location. (Click here to read The Red Ant article on "Chairman Mao's Diner")
Torre: He previously served one term on City Council, works as a tennis instructor, parties at Kenichi, and appears as host on Plum TV. Torre has no formal posted biography so we don't know how else he scores on local-ness!
Derek Johnson: Also from Minnesota, Derek has lived in Aspen for 18 years. He and his wife are raising their 3 children in the affordable housing unit that they own. He is an executive with the Aspen Skiing Co. (Some would say THAT unlocalizes him!) They do not have a 925 phone number nor ZG plates on their cars.
THE RED ANT SAYS.....
The "Aspen local" discussion will never abate, but that's okay -- it's part of our lore. As long as the back-and-forth continues at the J-Bar over cold draft beers, it's all good and fun. But for our elected leadership and community thought leaders to perpetuate the issue of class warfare in our community through further divisiveness and delineation of the citizenry, making value judgments, and implying that some citizens are more "local" than others (therefore more important? more valuable? more relevant?), it's gone waaaay too far.
While we rarely concur with Mayor Mick, perhaps his statement that "Local is as local does" is spot-on. If we want to be inclusive of all of our residents and guests (just like new-comer Lance) who love Aspen and want to visit or make their home here -- part-time, full-time or in their retirement years -- let's celebrate them and their unique contributions to our community. Heck, if they want to join this mysterious tribe of "locals," the more the merrier!
(And by the way, you know you're NOT a local if can you name the north-south streets in the downtown core in east-west order.)
Please share YOUR definitions and comments on "Aspen locals"
(Click here)and we'll post them on the blog at www.TheRedAnt.com
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September 14 
